she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
