hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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