I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
