I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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