Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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