Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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