I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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