Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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