And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
