I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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