i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
