and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
