I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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