spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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