I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Randomize
