I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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