im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
