you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
