My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
