Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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