If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
