nut hugger
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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