Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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