Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
