What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
