All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
