...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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