how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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