we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
