Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
tell me about the fingering
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