The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
