Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
