Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
