dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
