went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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