I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
