he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
