All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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