Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
