yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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