His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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