i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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