just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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