my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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