I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
