It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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