Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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