it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
