I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
