Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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