i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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