Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
