big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
