your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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